mombatti ka bayan...........

har wo rishta jismein insaan khud ko bandha mehsoos karta hai aur usmein khushiya talaashta firta hai, jo sabse pyara hota hai, aur jiski jarurat sabse jyada hoti hai.. wo itna dur ho jaata hai ki wapas lautna mushkil nazar aata hai...!! the memories remind us of lost times with every rise and fall of a step. takleef to us samay sabse jyada hoti hai jab in rishto ke na hone ki teevrata ka ehsaas hota hai... !! the pain... the torment... eats ur mind alive...!! and makes u crazy like hell...!!
all the damned words and curses come to ur mind... and u find urself in a sorry state..

today i feel the same.... is ehsas se dum ghut raha hai.. i feel immense hatred... jalti hui mombatti kabhi dundhli aur kabhi saaf nazar aati hai... aisa lag raha hai jaise meri aankon ke ashru jal uski nazro se dhalak rahe ho... usse aaj mujh par aur is khamoshi par taras aa gaya.... usne aahista se mujhe paas bulaya aur kaha.... today..!! i tell u a secret.. mayhap... and most probably.. none will ever tell u this... tumhare saath koi humsafar ho na no... tum khud ko apna sahara bana kar apni zindagi talaashna... kabhi kisi aasre ki umeed mat rakhna.... tum mujhe... meri bebasi.. aur meri tanhaai ko dekho.... i dont have expectations.. am void of emotions... am just a necessity... meri khud ki koi chaahat nahi hai... koi tamanna nahi hai.... main apna wajood bas tumhari aankhon mein chamakta aur dhalta dekhna chahti hu.... raat bhar mein tumhare kadmon mein bikharti rahungi aur subah hone par tumhari nazre mujhse fir jayengi.... this is my reality... shayad yehi meri sacchai hai.....
"syaah raaton mein jal kar raushni ka ek paigaam pasaara...
seher ki ek jhalak ne.... foonk maar kar bujha daala.."
mera wajood to bas itna hi hai.... meri jindagi ki mohlat bas itni hi hai.... iske aage mujhe saans lene ki izzajat nahi... in this limited space of time.. i try to reach the heights which i have always imagined... isi mohlat mein aakash choo lena chahti hu... maine apni roshni par kabhi pabandi nahi lagayi... logon mein mujhe jaha jalaya wahi foot pari..kisi kabr par jal kar main aasuon se apne dil ka dard bayan karti hu... mehfil mein logo ke umra-daraaz hone ki dua maangti hu.... is jahan mein lene ke liye logon ke faile haath dete waqt bandh jaate hai... main katra katra mil kar khamosh zindagi ka bayan deti hu... main kamjor hu... shayd isiliye hamesha se sholon ko bhadkane wali hawa mujhe jhatke bhar mein bujha deti hai... fir bhi bekhauf main wapas jalti hu... kahi andhere mein ek chirag jalane... i symbolise light... a tiny spark of light can do wonders... i am the representative of that light which dispels darkness.... i believe in giving.. even if i lose my life... even if i am there no more.... main logon ki takleef dekh kar sab bhool kar apni aakhiri sasns tak mit jaati hu... apne pighalte wajood se bikharti roshni par mujhe tahe dil se khushi hoti hai... kyuki main jaanti hu....
"dard apna na kabhi hothon se bayan ho paaye...
gam dusro ka bas meri jindagi ban jaaye...
mere jeene ka sabab ban jaaye....
kisi parwane ke liye kabhi shama ban jaati hu...
aahista aahista kuch boondo mein dher ho jaati hu...
gal jaungi main.. koi aur aayega mere jagah...
wo bhi tumhari aankhon mein apne wajood ko chamakta aur dhalta dekhega..
tab kaun yaad rakhega ki kabhi kisi kone ko raushan kiya tha maine...
par kya tum kabhi hamari raushni mein apna wajood dekha paaoge???"

mombatti ki baatein sun kar mujhe tab ehsaas hua....
manushya hai wahi ki jo manushya ke liye mar jaye..
yeh pashu pravriti hai ki aap aap hi chare....